How to Make the Most out of Dating Sites for Love
Here is something that most folks who are new to dating sites don’t know. The ladies on an online dating site are going to be bombarded by 10 or more messages a day while the guys will probably get none. That’s a weird fact of the culture, that men chase women, though, some women too are interested in chasing men. If you’re into that, and you’re a dude, then you’re in luck. If not, you’re going to have to come up with something that stands out from the myriad of other messages she’s going to get on a daily basis.
So if you’re interested in navigated the rough terrain of online dating, then there’s a few things you need to prepare yourself for.
Most Women Are Not Going to Reply
Let’s say I’m a woman, and I’m in a relationship with bozo-so-and-so and this guy is a dirtbag asshole who will ruin my life, but deep down he’s a really sweet guy and I can totally change him if I just give him time and space or something. I’m going to set up a profile on OkCupid to see how many responses I can get. Why? Because this will increase my confidence as a sexual partner while simultaneously making me feel good about myself because the dude I’m banging is trying to get with some other chick. There’s going to be a lot of women on the site who are in this kind of relationship and they’re just looking to for reinforcement from the myriad guys on the site that they’re still desireable. That sucks, but it does happen.
Another reason women don’t reply? They get sick of being bombarded with messages on a daily basis and sifting through them, while interesting at first, becomes tiresome after a week or two. In this instance, they’ve pretty much moved on from the site.
OkCupid and other sites, also have access to fun features like tests, so a lot of women sign up for the site simply for those features and have no interest in meeting anyone from the site.
But most importantly, because you’ll never know which one of these it is, some women are just not going to be into you, and you have to take that on the chin, like a man. Yeah, rejection sucks, but life is full of successes and failures, and just because one girl isn’t into you doesn’t mean another one won’t be.
The key, as always, is to temper your expectations. You can hope for the best without putting unreasonable expectations on the outcome.
Most First Dates Will Not End Up As Relationships
Let me talk about myself for a second, because I always dug online dating. I met a lot of girls online, I set up a lot of dates, the majority of them did not have a second date, and those that did, did not end in relationships. That only happened once, and I’m still with the girl I met online. We’ve been together for two years, and are now living together. But this was after years of dates that didn’t work out, messages not returned, relationships with friends that didn’t end well, or relationships that were sexual at first and then evolved into lasting friendships. While of course meeting someone you really mesh with is important, all the experiences were worth having too. And being able to deal with the fact that not every relationship is going to work out, for whatever reason, is the key to remaining open to one that will.